Occasional thoughts of an Anglican Episcopal priest

Author: eric (Page 49 of 130)

Marriage: Early Morning – A Poem – 10 September 2014

Loaded Dishwasher

Marriage: Early Morning

Morning, gray mist,
caressing warm mug,
rich coffee steam,
senses alert but soothed,
peaceful moment,
quiet moment,
almost, not quite, silent,
like a kitten softly purring.

Clank of glass!
Clink of china!
Rattle of flatware!
Slam of dishwasher door!
Why must she do this now?
Every nerve jarred and
stretched like a rubber band
just before it breaks.
My ears hurt!

How could two people have
such different rhythms
after decades
together?

“Please,” I want to say,
“Please . . . .”
Like some cat mewling
for its morning kibble.
“Please, can’t we enjoy
the morning’s silence?”

But, no. Best to endure,
just a moment . . .
or ten . . . or twenty.
Over, it will be over,
sometime . . . soon?

– by C Eric Funston, 10 September 2014

garden outside – A Poem – 9 September 2014

Weeping Japanese Maple

garden outside

gentle movement, japanese maple weeping
red maroon tears outside my window
further on gray boulder pachyderm sleeping
hunched untouched by breezes slow

tall brown grass, weeds elegant, nearby swaying
like wheat and tares of scripture’s tale
rose bush, heat spent, nods as if praying
telling its beads with silent wail

autumn garden, botanical sclerosis,
ends its season dusty and gray
brittle, the stems that once held posies
dreaming of spring, so far away

– by C Eric Funston, 9 September 2014

God Damn! – A Poem – September 7, 2014

You've gotta say "I'M A HUMAN BEING, GOD DAMNIT! My life has value!"

God Damn!

I said it!
I said it from the pulpit!
Into the ears
of little-old-ladies-with-blue-hair;
into the ears
of young-fathers-with-first-grade-children;
into the ears
of strait-laced-conservative-young-business-women
into the ears
of unexpecting parishioners who never believed
they would hear
“God damn”
from the pulpit.
It was, I said,
in a poem
and I wanted to honor
the poet and the poet’s decision
to be true to the poet’s vision.
Treat it, I said,
as a teaching moment
about the use of rough language
as an artistic decision
as a literary device
as a method of emphasis.
“God damn right!” I thought
in the silence of my own mind.
I said it!
I said it from the pulpit!
And the little old ladies with blue hair
were shocked (I saw it in their eyes)
and the young fathers with first grade children
were angry (I saw it in their eyes)
and the strait-laced conservative young business women
were scandalized (I saw it in their eyes).
Why?
Moses commanded the people of God
not only to pronounce blessings
but also curses,
not only to celebrate good
but also to condemn evil.
Jesus healed and blessed,
but he also cursed;
he set a table for thousands,
and overturned tables in the Temple.
Perhaps we have not said it enough;
Perhaps we should have said it
from the pulpit
more often.
God damn cruelty
God damn oppression
God damn prejudice
God damn racial profiling
God damn homophobia
God damn apartheid
God damn security barriers
God damn war
God damn death and disease and evil and . . .
the list goes on.
Perhaps we have not said it enough.
So that
the little old ladies with blue hair
ought not be shocked
the young fathers with first grade children
ought not be angry
the strait-laced conservative young business women
ought not be scandalized.
Perhaps we should say it
from the pulpit
more often.
“God damn!”

– by C. Eric Funston, 7 September 2014

My Early Life in Sports – A Poem – August 22, 2014

Teaball

My Early Life in Sports

She called it a ball
(my grandmother did)
but it wasn’t a ball
not to my mind
this “ball” was shaped like
a large walnut or a small egg
it wasn’t round
to my mind a ball
is round
except, of course,
the oblong oddly-shaped pigskin
my brother would toss in the yard
and play “flag” with his friends
and tell me I couldn’t play because
I was too little and too young and
“Go away!”

She called it a ball
but it wasn’t a ball
not to my mind
this “ball” was made of
cheap pressed metal covered
with shiny chrome
it wasn’t made of rubber
to my mind a ball
is made of rubber
except, of course,
the billiard balls on the felt covered tables
in the store-front first-floor pool hall
beneath my grandfather’s second-floor
insurance agency
the pool hall I wasn’t supposed to enter
except, of course,
that I did and learned to shoot snooker
at seven years of age —
seven-year-old snooker-shootin’ Kansas Slim —
until someone would say
what’s that kid doing here?
“Get lost!”

She called it a ball
but it wasn’t a ball
not to my mind
this ball was attached to a chain
a chain that ended in a hook
to my mind a ball
is unattached
except, of course,
the red rubber ping-pong-sized ball
attached by its long elastic rubber band
to the wooden paddle my cousin
could hit that thing a thousand times
and never miss and I was lucky
to hit it maybe five times
before it would hit me in the face
and my cousin would laugh and take it back
“Give it!”

She called it a ball
but it wasn’t a ball
not to my mind
this ball was covered with holes
to my mind a ball
has a solid surface no holes
except, of course,
the whiffle ball we would take to the street
and hit with a stick when we couldn’t find the bat
playing what we called baseball
but the adults called stickball
in the middle of Fourth Street
until some driver or the local cop
would tell us no you can’t do that
“Go home!”

She called it a ball
and when I’d come home because
I couldn’t play football or
I couldn’t play snooker or
I couldn’t play paddle ball or
I couldn’t play baseball then
she’d take that ball from it’s nail
above and a little to the side of her stove
and she’d open it up and fill it with tea
and hang it on the side of her tea pot
that chipped china pot with the roses
and fill the pot from her kettle
into a cup she’d put a spoon or two of honey
with a couple crushed leaves of fresh mint
from the patch between the hen house and the fence
and she’d pour the tea
and we’d sit
and I’d forget
about football or snooker or paddle ball or baseball

She called it a ball
but it wasn’t a ball
not to my mind
to my mind a ball
is not magic

======================

by C. Eric Funston
22 August 2014

We Should Think . . . – From the Daily Office – August 21, 2014

From the Acts of the Apostles:

An angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Get up and go towards the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” (This is a wilderness road.) So he got up and went.

(From the Daily Office Lectionary – Acts 8:26-27a (NRSV) – August 21, 2014)

Telephone Call to MinistryI suppose that if “an angel of the Lord” told me to “get up and go” that I’d do as Philip did, even in these times when a trip to Gaza would not be the most pleasant journey one could make. I have often remarked at the willingness of the early disciples to drop everything and respond to these calls to ministry. The response of the first of the apostles, of Simon Peter and his brother Andrew, of James and John (the sons of Zebedee), to leave their fishing businesses and take off with Jesus is the same. (Mt 4:18-22) The response of Matthew (or was he called Levi) to leave his tax booth is the same. (Mt 9:9) “Come” and they come; “get up and go” and they go. Modern folk are seldom so swift to respond.

Of course, we live in a world (at least in the United States . . . at least in the Episcopal Church in the United States) that discourages swift responses to God’s call.

We should really think about that!

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A request to my readers: I’m trying to build the readership of this blog and I’d very much appreciate your help in doing so. If you find something here that is of value, please share it with others. If you are on Facebook, “like” the posts on your page so others can see them. If you are following me on Twitter, please “retweet” the notices of these meditations. If you have a blog of your own, please include mine in your links (a favor I will gladly reciprocate). Many thanks!

====================

Father Funston is the rector of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Medina, Ohio.

Anglo? Israel? What Is Truth? – From the Daily Office – August 20, 2014

From the Psalter:

“Greatly have they oppressed me since my youth,”
let Israel now say;
“Greatly have they oppressed me since my youth,
but they have not prevailed against me.”
The plowmen plowed upon my back
and made their furrows long.

(From the Daily Office Lectionary – Psalm 129:1-3 (BCP Version) – August 20, 2014)

Multivocality Depicted as Speech BubblesTruth, United States Senator Hiram Johnson observed in 1917, is the first casualty of war. When war becomes nearly universal is truth in danger of being fully obliterated? I don’t think so; I think truth will ultimately survive and prevail. My faith is that the Truth will no doubt prevail, but for the moment, I am speaking neither of grand philosophical concepts nor of the One who made the audacious claim, “I am the Truth.” (Jn 14:6) Rather, I speak simply of factual accuracy and of the intellectual integrity of those who communicate; that truth is suffering some mighty hurtful body blows at present.

Following up on Senator Johnson’s observation several decades later, linguist William Lutz (best known as the editor of the Quarterly Review of Doublespeak) suggested language as an alternative “first casualty of war” because, he said, “with language goes the truth.” In a 1992 essay in English Today, Lutz argued that in times of war and conflict language becomes corrupted and turned into “an instrument for concealing and preventing thought, not for expressing or extending thought.” (The First Casualty)

I was reminded of Johnson and Lutz this week when Missouri’s Republican lieutenant governor, in response to the civil unrest in Ferguson following the killing of Michael Brown, an 18-year-old black man, by a white police officer, suggested that those with grievances (and they and their complaints are many and legitimate) should turn not to the streets but to the “Anglo-American jurisprudence tradition.” Almost immediately a fire-storm erupted on social media and in the left-leaning press accusing the man of being a “white supremacist” because of his use of the term “Anglo-American.”

I was particularly astounded to see religious journalists, pastors, preachers, and essayists, friends and colleagues whom I respect, jumping on this bandwagon. I suggested in a couple of Facebook discussions that “Anglo-American” is not a white racist buzzword, that it is a term of art to those who study or have studied (as the Missouri politician and I both have) the law and the history of the American judicial system. It refers to the historical reality that our system and our preconceptions of fairness, equity, and justice stem from origins in the laws and processes of England and English jurisprudence (the “Anglo” part) imported to and further developed in this country (the “American” part). I have no doubt that our judicial system (and our entire society) embody a systemic racism that must be addressed, but vehement criticism of the Missouri lieutenant governor for use of a longstanding and venerable term of art is not the way to do it. As I pointed out, I have used the term “Anglo-American” myself on many occasions in briefs, oral arguments, and lectures, and I have never used it to mean “white supremacy,” so I give the Missouri politician the benefit of the doubt.

As I thought more about it, it took me back to my college days in the late 1960s and early 1970s in Southern California. Those were the heydays of La Raza Unida, LULAC, the United Farm Workers, and other Chicano labor and political organizations. (Does anyone even use the terms “Chicano” or “Chicana” any longer?) In the rhetoric of the day, any non-hispanic caucasian was an “Anglo.” It didn’t matter where in northern Europe one’s ancestors may actually have come from — Ireland, France, and Germany (my own heritage), Poland and Ukraine (my then-girlfriend’s background), or Scandinavia (my roommate’s family), we were all “Anglos.” What had previously been a prefix referring specifically to the English became an all-inclusive term for white people in general. The racial and ethnic conflict of the day corrupted the language; truth suffered. Apparently, the corruption still taints almost a half-century later.

Then this evening’s psalm — “let Israel now say” — and I am confronted with my own failure to embrace multiple word meanings, my own tendency to corrupt language and to distort truth! I hear the words of the psalm, “Greatly have they oppressed me since my youth,” and I hear them as untrue in today’s world. Israel (the modern nation state) is not oppressed; it is the oppressor! I hear Israel’s metaphoric claim that “plowmen [have] plowed upon my back,” and it rankles me! It is Israel with her air force and her bombs who is “plowing upon the backs” of others! I must divorce myself from my modern irritation for it is not the psalm but my reaction to it which is untrue. The word Israel is a word of many meanings, for some of which the psalm is true; for others, not.

Who is this “Israel”? What does the name mean?

Israel could mean

  • Jacob, son of Isaac, who spent a night wrestling with God and was given this new name
  • His genetic descendants
  • Those who adhere to the religion of Judaism as it has evolved from its earliest beginnings
  • Those like myself who adhere to the Christian faith, the “New Israel” grafted to the old (Romans 11)
  • The ancient ethnic “nation” of diverse tribes (twelve?) who inhabited the eastern Mediterranean, through its various permutations of governance
  • The original singular kingdom which was one of the iterations of that “nation”
  • The subsequent northern kingdom which rebelled against the central imperial government and established itself as a separate entity
  • The modern nation state established by United Nations Resolution 181 in 1947
  • The land on which that nation state sits
  • The additional land of “Greater Israel” claimed by ultra-Orthodox Zionists
  • And a host of additional meanings others may list

How I hear, interpret, pray, accept, reject, or otherwise respond to this evening’s (and any other) psalm naming “Israel” depends on which of these meanings I choose to accept at the moment, and in that choice lies either truth or falsehood. If I choose to accept only one of those meanings to the exclusion of all others, I corrupt language, I betray truth.

The internet discussion of “Anglo” focused (I think) on a single, limited understanding of the term and, in doing so, distorted it and betrayed the truth. There may have been truth — the truth of white privilege, the truth of non-uniform application of laws, the truth of a sometimes failing judicial system — but there was also falsehood and distortion — the condemnation of the Missouri lieutenant govern as a racist (he may be, I don’t know, but the use of the word is hardly sufficient evidence by itself), the dismissal of the historical term is nothing more than a “white supremacist buzzword,” the rejection of the notion of “Anglo-American civilization” as an oxymoron.

Back in college, I often protested, “I am not an Anglo!” My Irish and French ethnic heritage bristles at the very suggestion. And, yet, as an Anglican Episcopalian, as an American lawyer, as a speaker of the English language (corrupted though my American version may be), and in may other ways, I am very much an Anglo. As a student and practitioner of Anglo-American jurisprudence (I am still licensed and admitted to practice in two states and before the Federal judiciary), I am an Anglo. As a user of the term “Anglo-American,” however, I am not a white supremacist but, as a white person in the “Anglo-American civilization” which the Missouri politician lauded, I am a person who possesses (and must be conscious of) white privilege. Youthful protest notwithstanding, I must accept and admit that I am an Anglo.

My negative reaction to the psalm is the same. To be certain, in one sense, the modern state of Israel is not oppressed, nor is its back being plowed, but perhaps in another sense there is truth about the modern nation in the ancient psalm. If I am to hear that truth, I must not distort the language by closing off alternative understandings.

Who are these “Anglos”? Who is this “Israel”? There is more than a single answer to each question and the answers are many and varied, and in all of the several answers there is truth.

“What is truth?” Pilate famously asked. (Jn 18:38) Jesus did not answer him, but had elsewhere asserted, “You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” (Jn 8:32) It will only do so if we open ourselves to it. Truth is multi-vocal, and even though we may not want wish to hear all of the voices of truth, but we need to do so. To the extent that we limit, distort, or corrupt the language of our conversations, religious or political, we will be unable to hear its many voices. We must be open to truth’s multi-vocality; only then will the truth set us free.

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A request to my readers: I’m trying to build the readership of this blog and I’d very much appreciate your help in doing so. If you find something here that is of value, please share it with others. If you are on Facebook, “like” the posts on your page so others can see them. If you are following me on Twitter, please “retweet” the notices of these meditations. If you have a blog of your own, please include mine in your links (a favor I will gladly reciprocate). Many thanks!

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Father Funston is the rector of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Medina, Ohio.

An Aquifer – From the Daily Office – August 19, 2014

From the Psalter:

I lift up my eyes to the hills; from where is my help to come?

(From the Daily Office Lectionary – Psalm 121:1 (BCP Version) – August 19, 2014)

AquiferI love Psalm 121 for a variety of reasons. It is the psalm which the sanctoral lectionary provides for the feast of St. Francis of Assisi (October 4), always a favorite saint. It is the psalm my late mother chose to be read at her funeral. It is one of the psalms of ascent which pilgrims to the Temple are believed to have sung as they made their way to Jerusalem for the major festivals of ancient Judaism; on pilgrimage in Israel and Palestine, my wife and I recalled it as we rode in a travel coach from Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv to ancient city. There many good memories, some joyful, some sad, all meaningful, associated with it.

Its first verse seems particularly appropriate this week as the world has come through and continues to experience the tragedy of conflict in Gaza, the carnage that is the on-going fighting in Iraq, and the violence that has erupted in Ferguson, Missouri. I can imagine people on every side of every one of those situations lifting their eyes and wondering where help is going to come from.

Help, the psalm assures us, comes from the Lord, “the maker of heaven and earth.” But I sometimes think that many (if not most) find that about as helpful as Job did: “Oh, that I knew where I might find him . . . If I go forward, he is not there; or backward, I cannot perceive him; on the left he hides, and I cannot behold him; I turn to the right, but I cannot see him.” (Job 23:3a,8-9) We live in a world where people do not know where to find God, do not know where to look for strength.

I would suspect that most who acknowledge the objective reality of God when asking the question posed in this psalm look for help “out there somewhere” hoping to find God swooping in like Superman bounding tall buildings, or more disturbingly like American bombers defending an Iraqi dam. On the other hand, those who deny the reality of God either don’t bother to look at all or (more commonly) also look “out there somewhere” expecting never to see anything.

A few, however, will know that (as St. Bernard de Clairvaux observed) our spiritual nourishment comes from the place where we think, pray and work, that we begin our spiritual journey where we are and not somewhere else. Moses promised his people that God was bringing them “into a good land, a land with flowing streams, with springs and underground waters welling up in valleys and hills,” (Dt 8:7) and while that may have been the promise of real and tangible place it is also a metaphor for the spiritual reality of God’s help and strength. Jesus told the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s Well that he would give those who asked the water of life which would become in them “a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” (Jn 4:14)

God’s help, God’s strength, God’s spirit is like an aquifer underlying the soil of our lives. We tap that help and strength by going within, by searching the core of our being, not by looking “out there somewhere.” Yes, like the psalmist, we lift up our eyes to hills as we wonder where to find help, but we must turn our gaze around to actually discover it.

Certainly the people of Gaza, Iraq, and Missouri are right to look for help from outside, but such help is contingent and temporary; it cannot produce any real, lasting, long-term solution. Real change will only come when all people look deep within and tap that spiritual aquifer to which we all have access, that underground stream of living water, that spring of eternal life which has been promised all along.

From where is my help to come? From the Lord, deep within not “out there somewhere.”

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A request to my readers: I’m trying to build the readership of this blog and I’d very much appreciate your help in doing so. If you find something here that is of value, please share it with others. If you are on Facebook, “like” the posts on your page so others can see them. If you are following me on Twitter, please “retweet” the notices of these meditations. If you have a blog of your own, please include mine in your links (a favor I will gladly reciprocate). Many thanks!

====================

Father Funston is the rector of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Medina, Ohio.

Russian Steam Locomotive? – From the Daily Office – August 18, 2014

From the Gospel according John:

[Jesus said:] “Very truly, I tell you, anyone who hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life, and does not come under judgment, but has passed from death to life. Very truly, I tell you, the hour is coming, and is now here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live.”

(From the Daily Office Lectionary – John 5:24-25 (NRSV) – August 18, 2014)

Russian Steam LocomotiveDid Jesus actually say these things? Most contemporary bible scholars would probably answer “No.” The author of John’s Gospel has made Jesus say the things a largely Jewish community of the church in the late 1st Century, a church struggling to cope with its separation from traditional Judaism, believed about Jesus; Jesus is thus both the subject and the interpreter of the message of John’s Gospel. In the 21st Century, we might have preferred the author to have included the interpretation of Jesus in the narrative, not in the words spoken by the character of Jesus portrayed here, but that’s not what we’ve got. What we’ve got is the Jesus remembered by a community with a highly developed Christology telling that community, and us, who Jesus was then and now.

Realizing that helps one realize that this is not Jesus’ predicting the end of the world as we know it. The tenses of verbs in this passage are important. The passing of believers “from death to life” is something that has already happened; it is not something in the future. The coming hour “is now here;” it is a present reality not something for which we are still waiting. This is a spiritual reality, not a prediction about physical reality. Death and life, eternity and judgment, coming hour and voice of the Son of God are all metaphoric terms describing a believer’s present spiritual reality, whether that believer is a 1st Century Jew or a 21st Century Gentile.

Metaphoric language is often difficult to understand, especially when the metaphor is an unfamiliar one. It can be confusingly dreamlike and stubbornly unenlightening. The past few days, recovering from minor surgery on my knee (a partial meniscectomy), I have also been “detoxing” from the general anesthesia used during surgery and the pain management medication prescribed afterward (which I only took for 36 hours). Apparently, vivid dreams are a part of that detoxification process.

One of the recurring images of these dreams is travel on a Russian cross-country train pulled by an antique steam engine! I have never been to Russia, rarely traveled anywhere by train, and never in steam-engine driven conveyance; as metaphors for something, these are highly unfamiliar images. To say the least, this imagery is disconcerting, disorienting, and (as I said) stubbornly unenlightening. I do believe that dreams, especially those we remember, are ways in which our minds work out issues in non-rational ways; I believe they are ways our psyches provide us insights not accessible by the conscious mind. But what are my dreams trying to tell me?

When I read today’s Gospel with Jesus’ interpretive discourse today, I have a similar experience of disorientation; I have almost as little experience with John’s images as I do with Russian steam locomotives. I have no direct experience of death though I have witnessed it; I have no direct experience of divine judgment though I have courtroom experience with its earthly analog; I have no direct experience of the voice of the Son of God though I have heard the voices of parents and children. What is scripture trying to tell me when John’s Jesus uses these metaphoric images?

Fortunately, as Walter Brueggemann has often reminded his readers, metaphors are not univocal, nor do they claim a one-to-one correlation with reality. They speak differently each time we encounter them. Today scripture’s voice maybe as confusing as the dream of a Russian train; tomorrow it may be as clear as a bell; the next day . . . who knows?

What I do know is this, that everyday I am called to listen to the voice of scripture and, in it, hope to hear the voice of the Son of God which promises life. Everyday, I must climb aboard the Russian steam-driven train that is Holy Write and ride where it takes me. Everyday, I must wrestle with scripture as Jacob wrestled with the angel at Peniel and hope that, as he saw God face to face and lived, so may I.

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A request to my readers: I’m trying to build the readership of this blog and I’d very much appreciate your help in doing so. If you find something here that is of value, please share it with others. If you are on Facebook, “like” the posts on your page so others can see them. If you are following me on Twitter, please “retweet” the notices of these meditations. If you have a blog of your own, please include mine in your links (a favor I will gladly reciprocate). Many thanks!

====================

Father Funston is the rector of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Medina, Ohio.

Late Middle Age – A Poem – August 15, 2014

Harlequin and a Lady by Konstantin Somov, 1921

Late Middle Age

Deep in the thickets of never were
my doubts and dreams fight
a fierce battle over the splinters
of ambition while overhead
soaring hopes somersault,
doing lazy loop-di-loops,
catching the thermals
of passion’s fierce heat quickly spent.

“Where,” cries the harlequin of discontent,
“where would you be now
but for the locks and chains of
decisions made in haste?”

“Who cares?” answers Lady Faith,
“The smith who forged the chains and locks
from the same fires of choice
created the keys of freedom.
The present is not bound nor
the future determined by
the verdicts of the past.”

“I care,” yells the buffoon,
stepping on the shards
of lucrative partnership.
Kicking aside the judicial robes
of political aspiration and
the rochet and chimere
of a failed election.
“I care very deeply about
the might-have-beens.”

“How silly,” she softly sighs,
gently folding the cope and miter
of another episcopate
that never was, laying it beside
the mortar board of
unachieved academic tenure.
“What a waste of emotional
time and investment!”

Overhead
a grandchild’s laughter
explodes and cascades
with retirement fireworks
over Galway Bay.
The clown and the Lady
both look up
and smile.

by C. Eric Funston, 15 August 2014

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