When a couple gets married in the Episcopal Church, our canon law requires that they spend some time in pre-marital counseling, usually with the priest who will preside at their wedding. That didn’t happen in this case. I’ve spent no time helping P____ and L____ to build a strong foundation for their marriage; we haven’t talked about the theology of Holy Matrimony, or about communication, or conflict resolution skills, or any of the key issues of married life like dealing with finances, children, and extended family. No, my colleague the Rev. Lisa _______ did all of that. She was supposed preside today, but a member of her family announced that they were getting married today, so she asked me to step in, so it’s my privilege to witness and bless Paul and Lauren’s union.
In any event, I know that Mother Lisa has been over all of that with them, so this sermon is not for them. It’s for you, their family and friends; it’s about their marriage, but it’s for you.
If you were raised in the church you probably went through confirmation classes at some point and had to learn some bits of the catechism. You may remember learning about the Sacraments; there are seven of them. Holy Baptism and Holy Communion are the big ones, the ones Christ himself established. Then there are five others which the church created under, we believe, the guidance of the Holy Spirit. One of those five is the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
When my nephew, who’s now in his mid-40s, was about six years old, he was given a homework assignment that he found frustrating and he just didn’t want to finish it, but his mother made him sit down and do it rather than something else more to his liking. In his frustration, he blurted out, “I hate you!” My late sister-in-law responded calmly, “That’s too bad because I love you.” After a moment of reflection, my nephew amended his angry outburst: “I love you, too,” he said, “but I don’t like you right now.”
